I have been asked whether I am angry or upset that I was placed for adoption. No, not at all. There is no way of knowing what my life would’ve been like if I had stayed with my birth family. Or been placed with a different family. Or if any number of large or small things had gone differently than they did. Life is an unpredictable series of highs and lows. My life certainly isn’t perfect. There are things I love about my family and things that drive me up the wall. Difficult and stressful circumstances arise. Parents can’t shelter their children from this. What they can do is help provide those children the support and skills they need to face life’s challenges and overcome them. Though they knew they wouldn’t directly be able to do this, my birth parents chose an adoptive family that could. They carefully considered what I would need and picked the family that was to become mine.
Adoption is a difficult and complicated decision, but I’m grateful for the courage and discernment of my birth parents. There isn’t only one way of being a good parent. I am lucky enough to have been loved by two families in different ways.
*Name changed for confidentiality
By Samantha Cosette
(cont from Spring Newsletter)
Hope shared about discovering she was pregnant at 14, her life as a birth mother, and how she navigates her relationship with her daughter. As I watched her tell her story, I could see the significant pain and love in her face. I always imagined adoptions being completely closed, even though I knew that there are open adoptions. Hope shared that she sends care packages, letters, and gifts to her child as much as possible. She visits with her every year while trying to keep up with her exciting changes in life. The best part of hearing Hope’s story was seeing that even though she made the difficult choice to place her baby for adoption, she knows now that she made the right choice. There are still struggles, but she is so proud she chose to give life to her child and bless her adoptive parents with a child they cherish more than anything.
Adoption is a beautiful process and I feel so thankful to learn more about a personal story from a birth mother. Now I believe birth mothers are some of the strongest people in the world. They are undoubtedly selfless in their decision to carry and birth their child, and then make a choice to bless another family with the best gift she could possibly give them. Hope’s story shows the pain of adoption for birth families does not just go away, but birth mothers grow and can have peace knowing they made the right choice for their child.
The latest News and updates from the CFLS offices and the adoption ministry.