I have been asked whether I am angry or upset that I was placed for adoption. No, not at all. There is no way of knowing what my life would’ve been like if I had stayed with my birth family. Or been placed with a different family. Or if any number of large or small things had gone differently than they did. Life is an unpredictable series of highs and lows. My life certainly isn’t perfect. There are things I love about my family and things that drive me up the wall. Difficult and stressful circumstances arise. Parents can’t shelter their children from this. What they can do is help provide those children the support and skills they need to face life’s challenges and overcome them. Though they knew they wouldn’t directly be able to do this, my birth parents chose an adoptive family that could. They carefully considered what I would need and picked the family that was to become mine.
Adoption is a difficult and complicated decision, but I’m grateful for the courage and discernment of my birth parents. There isn’t only one way of being a good parent. I am lucky enough to have been loved by two families in different ways.
*Name changed for confidentiality
By Samantha Cosette
(cont from Spring Newsletter)
Hope shared about discovering she was pregnant at 14, her life as a birth mother, and how she navigates her relationship with her daughter. As I watched her tell her story, I could see the significant pain and love in her face. I always imagined adoptions being completely closed, even though I knew that there are open adoptions. Hope shared that she sends care packages, letters, and gifts to her child as much as possible. She visits with her every year while trying to keep up with her exciting changes in life. The best part of hearing Hope’s story was seeing that even though she made the difficult choice to place her baby for adoption, she knows now that she made the right choice. There are still struggles, but she is so proud she chose to give life to her child and bless her adoptive parents with a child they cherish more than anything.
Adoption is a beautiful process and I feel so thankful to learn more about a personal story from a birth mother. Now I believe birth mothers are some of the strongest people in the world. They are undoubtedly selfless in their decision to carry and birth their child, and then make a choice to bless another family with the best gift she could possibly give them. Hope’s story shows the pain of adoption for birth families does not just go away, but birth mothers grow and can have peace knowing they made the right choice for their child.
Women’s health services looked different in the early 80s when we started the adoption agency. Unexpected pregnancies carried more stigma, but when we set up an office out of our home for single women to come get a free pregnancy test and decision-making counseling, my toddler running around had no preconceived idea about these ladies and why they were there.
Our goal has always been to assist women who wanted to make a carefully thought-out decision for their future and the best for their baby. Choosing life is not easy, regardless of what next decisions a mom makes for her health, support system, and baby’s well-being. Community education is a priority for CFLS and we want women to know they have support and a community who understands what the adoption process looks like today, not 30 years ago. Making an adoption plan is not “giving away” a child, and the more we can encourage positive language the more babies we can save. My little toddler impacted many hurting women in our home just by sitting by them and they could see hope and grace through a child’s eyes. Giving Hearts Day is YOUR day to have a bigger impact with your online donation. I challenge YOU to change the life of a child and expectant parents. Will you #GoMatchyMatchy with me?
The Perry Center and Christian Family Life Services invite you to tour a Save the Storks mobile medical unit equipped with ultrasound and other pregnancy resources. This is a family “open house” style event is on Tuesday, August 16th from 4:00-7:00pm at the Perry Center – 2355 Meadow Ridge Parkway, West Fargo with desserts, outdoor games, and a chance to consider how you might play a part in reaching more expectant moms to choose life. More info on our Facebook event. RSVP here or by phone: 701-237-4473
by Destrie Overmoe
Mother’s Day is coming soon! This is a day to celebrate mothers and all they do. Maybe their kids will draw them a picture and their spouses will dote on them for the day. But what about the women who have unseen children? Maybe they lost a child to miscarriage, death after birth, or perhaps they put their child’s needs before their wants and chose adoption. Should these women be celebrated on Mother’s Day? Of course!
The loss of a child does not take away a mother’s love nor does it take away the motherly heart that God placed in her. Mothers are unique, powerful, and sacrifice so much in the name of children – and this should be praised and celebrated. These women who have lost children are still mothers and deserve to be honored. Acknowledging them as mothers means you acknowledge their children as well.
I encourage you to celebrate the mommas in your life. Whether they carried a child for nine months or carry the memories of a child in their heart – let’s rejoice in mothers everywhere!
And mothers, the love you have in your heart for your children is admirable and beautiful. You are truly precious.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – “Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous; is not proud; is not conceited; does not act foolishly; is not selfish; is not easily provoked to anger; keeps no record of wrongs; takes no pleasure in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.”
“Hey, Beth, what size does Lucy wear? I’m getting her a birthday present,”
Trevor said when he called CFLS about his daughter’s first birthday. This proud father has only met her once. He does not live close to her, nor does he have the means to provide a home for her, but he loves her dearly, talks about her frequently, and was willing to work
with our birth parent caseworker, Beth, as an adoption plan was made for Lucy in 2015. Trevor and the mother are no longer together, and he did not consider adoption when hearing the pregnancy test results from his girlfriend....
Click here to continue reading the feature article
and see the full Spring Newsletter!
In this week's news, CFLS has expanded our services to both birth mothers and prospective adoptive families by publishing a portion of the waiting families profiles to our website. Many agencies across the nation have employed this web service as a means to present adoptive families to women who are researching their options and looking at adoption online, and we are happy to utilize this technology. As you'll see on our "Waiting Families" page under the Birth Parents tab, our clients who have completed a home study and are waiting to be matched can include a photo as well as a brief profile and birth parent letter that have previously not been seen by birthparents until they come in to meet with our birth parent counselor. We hope this assists in connecting forever families! Please join us in prayer that birth parents will chose life and consider all their options. We trust the Lord will bring women to the agency and guide their decisions.
After many months pondering, editing drafts, and selecting text/pictures we are happy to have new brochures for the agency with our updated address, mission statement, and other vital information. We wanted to reach birth mothers where they are at and we hope this new brochure will assist with that goal. If you would like hard copies of either of the brochures for your church or if you work in or have access to a high school, college, social services center, hospital, or clinic where you think they might use them, please contact us!
Join us in prayer that Beth has more access to schools and secular pregnancy centers where birth moms can learn about their options and discover more about how our agency can serve them!
Friends of CFLS,
This Sunday we celebrate the sanctity of human life. For many years, this special Sunday has honored the right to life that was altered by the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision. At Christian Family Life Services, we believe that all life is precious & valued from conception to natural death. We celebrate with women who choose life for their child. Our ministry feels called to provide education on abortion, parenting, and adoption as well as walk with birth parents through decision counseling and creating an adoption plan. When you partner with us, you invest in unborn human life. YOU inspire birth moms to consider the gift of life for their child.
Over the next month, CFLS is gearing up to participate in Giving Hearts Day. We are grateful to have been selected by Dakota Medical Foundation for this 24-hour online fundraising event created by DMF and Impact Foundation held on Thursday February 12, 2015.
Join us and give life through your investment. Your gift of $10 or more online at impactgiveback.org up to $4,000 will be matched. All donations are tax-deductible. Please consider supporting CFLS by forwarding this to those you know care for the great ministry work we are doing.
Thank you for your continued support of our mission,
p.s. This is a one-day only opportunity to multiply the benefit of your gift.
On February 12, donate at impactgiveback.org
It seems that there are just two options presented to women facing an unplanned pregnancy: parent or abort. Our founder, Pat Larson, shared some thoughts on supporting birth moms a couple months ago and I think they are worth posting again...
Both North Dakota and Minnesota have programs to raise awareness about the third option:
The Decision is Mine, ND
Adoption Option Council of Minnesota
I found this letter to the editor in the Chicago Tribune from 12 years ago. Sadly, it seems there is still much work to be done:
VOICE OF THE PEOPLE (letter).Choose adoption
February 23, 2002|By Caleb Hendricks, Student, Illiana Christian High School.
I think abortion should be illegal. I think we should encourage mothers who are planning on having abortions to put their children up for adoption instead. I believe that adoption is the biggest alternative to abortion. There are many couples who are not capable of having a child.
So instead of putting our money into campaigns to argue whether abortion is wrong or right, we should spend money to start a campaign that encourages adoption.
Let's spread the word about the third option!
The latest News and updates from the CFLS offices and the adoption ministry.