I have been asked whether I am angry or upset that I was placed for adoption. No, not at all. There is no way of knowing what my life would’ve been like if I had stayed with my birth family. Or been placed with a different family. Or if any number of large or small things had gone differently than they did. Life is an unpredictable series of highs and lows. My life certainly isn’t perfect. There are things I love about my family and things that drive me up the wall. Difficult and stressful circumstances arise. Parents can’t shelter their children from this. What they can do is help provide those children the support and skills they need to face life’s challenges and overcome them. Though they knew they wouldn’t directly be able to do this, my birth parents chose an adoptive family that could. They carefully considered what I would need and picked the family that was to become mine.
Adoption is a difficult and complicated decision, but I’m grateful for the courage and discernment of my birth parents. There isn’t only one way of being a good parent. I am lucky enough to have been loved by two families in different ways.
*Name changed for confidentiality
By Destrie Overmoe
There is something about reconnecting two hearts that have been separated for a time – it is a beautiful process.
In today’s world, each adoption can land anywhere on the spectrum of closed and open adoptions. We often use the imagery of a door that can be opened just a crack or wide open. In semi-open adoptions there are visits, pictures, and letters; in really open adoptions identifying information is shared between all parties involved. In some cases, people choose that for the time being, minimal or no contact is best. Keep in mind that no contact right now does not mean no contact forever, and it definitely does not mean that the decision was made without love. So what happens when contact is desired later on in life? Search.
Search allows for birth parents or adoptees to seek each other out usually with the assistance of the placing agency. As Case Manager at Christian Family Life Services, I get the honor of conducting Searches on behalf of adoptees or birth parents.
In North Dakota, adoptees can begin searching for their birth family once they are 18, but adoptees cannot be searched for until they are 21. A recent case started when *David decided that it was the right time to look for *Melanie, his birth mother. Most often it is the adoptee who is wondering “Where did I come from?” and wants to search for his/her birth parents. Sometimes families start with ongoing contact, but it decreases or ends as families get busy with raising children or birth parents forget to give address updates to the agency...
Read the rest of the article (A Time to Search) in our Thanksgiving Newsletter!
"My goal was to raise the money for the home study which was $3,500. Sarah was hoping for $1,500 - $2,000. God showed us as in Matthew 17:20 if you have the faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains and nothing will be impossible to us. He showed up in all of his glory. We raised a total of $7,500. We praise God for sending us people to help and encourage."
...Read the rest of George & Sarah's fundraising article and the entire Back-to-School Newsletter at this link!
“Hey, Beth, what size does Lucy wear? I’m getting her a birthday present,”
Trevor said when he called CFLS about his daughter’s first birthday. This proud father has only met her once. He does not live close to her, nor does he have the means to provide a home for her, but he loves her dearly, talks about her frequently, and was willing to work
with our birth parent caseworker, Beth, as an adoption plan was made for Lucy in 2015. Trevor and the mother are no longer together, and he did not consider adoption when hearing the pregnancy test results from his girlfriend....
Click here to continue reading the feature article
and see the full Spring Newsletter!
The latest News and updates from the CFLS offices and the adoption ministry.