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Birth parents who make an adoption plan must not really care about their child.
The truth is that making an adoption plan is a very loving act of self-sacrifice, not an act of abandonment. In fact, birth parents who complete an adoption plan often are people who have the maturity to put their child’s needs above their own.
Birth parents who place a child for adoption cannot move on with their lives.
It is true that this is one of the most difficult decisions a person could ever make. And of course, a birth parent who places a child for adoption will never forget the child they placed. They are choosing to hurt for the sake of their child. Any loss in life is accompanied by grief. Understanding the grief process and choosing to walk through one’s grief in a healthy way can also “enlarge the soul” of the one who grieves, leading to increased maturity and richness of life.
A child does not really need a two parent family.
Research shows that having two healthy, involved, loving parents who support each other in their parenting roles contributes positively to a child’s self-esteem, relational health, financial well-being, and future educational and occupational achievements. Having a father as well as a mother provides a male as well as female role model.
Birth parents who complete an adoption plan will never know how their child is doing.
Every adoption is unique, but most of today’s adoptions are more open than in the past. Today birth parents often have ongoing contact with the adoptive family through the years, with letters and pictures and sometimes visits that keep them informed about how their birth child is doing.